I have been reflecting on my process of healing over the last few years and was thinking to myself, “man it isn’t over yet?!”. Have you ever felt that way? Sometimes that can just get a sista down a little bit. Today, however, I went a little further and really felt compassion for myself and saw how patience has been a stronghold, even though I always say I’m impatient!
It is so important to be patient with yourself. This is especially true for someone that is healing from trauma. There are times when I want so badly to just say, “Hey! I’m done here. I’m completely healed and now my life will be perfect all the time!”. I’m here to say that it just doesn’t work that way and sometimes it is really hard to come to terms with the process of healing.
I know that today I am so far away from the moments where I wanted to leave this earth, where I cried, “why me?!” day in and day out. Where I just couldn’t see the sun come up in the morning beaming it’s sweet warmth on my face. I’m so happy to say that today, I can walk outside to see and feel her beauty, to bask in how she shows me that life is worth living.
But honey! The road to feeling the sun is one that requires compassion for yourself, patience in being okay with the fact that it will take time to peel away the layers of protection that we’ve put on. I see the process as a tree.
You start with the trunk, addressing the very foundation upon which we grow on and heal the wounds that were created. Once your trunk is strong, vibrant, knows who she is as a survivor, as a resilient woman of life, then come the branches…these are the seemingly smaller issues that come up. This can include some of the beliefs, the behaviors, the thoughts that come up that may or may not belong to you but definitely find it’s core in your main wound. This is when patience really needs to kick in as we can have many branches! It is important to remember that we are a spiritual being living this human experience and this human experience is dynamic!
So….let’s be patient. Let’s honor how far we have come and look forward to what is to come….the sun shining oh so bright!