Find your truth…
How many times have you heard someone tell you that? As if it is just so easy! I remember being in my clinical counseling class during my master’s program and my teacher asking us the question “Who are you?”. I started at my blank piece of paper and could only come up with adjectives like kind, caring, sometimes funny. Then, as if the exercise was not difficult enough already, she asked “What is your essence?”. I mean at that point my life was basically done! I thought, “Welp, there it is! I don’t know who the hell I am!”. A part of me was completely dumbfounded at the fact that I couldn’t answer the question. Another part of me was admittedly a little irritated at the question. Come on! What does that have to do with counseling anyway?! Well it certainly has everything to do with guiding someone during any life adjustment to the center of who they are, therefore, making it very important for me to be able to know my center, my essence. I cannot even remember what vague answer I came up with (I actually think I tried to make myself invisible) but at that moment I knew I had some work to do to discover my own inner truth of who I am. This truth being one that exists outside of what anyone thinks I am or expects me to be.
And so my journey began…
Well it took another year before the journey actually started. You know how grad school is…just trying to survive. But it did begin eventually.
My first true experience of seeing who I really am occurred when I decided I would do anything it takes to do my counseling practicum at an alternative healing center. I was adamant that this is where I was going to learn the best kind of counseling…one that included the spiritual dimension. The owner agreed I could study under her under one condition…I needed to do my own personal work which looked like getting together some pillows and blankets, coming to the center on a Saturday morning and breathing deep while listening to some super loud music. I thought this is some crazy mess right here but I’m going to do it! Something in my heart stirred. I couldn’t explain it but I knew I had to experience this seemingly odd practice of breathwork.
Well…let me just say, after all of the tears, feelings of elation, and getting my creative juices flowing with the artistic mandala creation after, I realized I had found the key to finally answering the question that I had been asked of me the year before.
The quest of becoming who you are is certainly not a one day or one breathwork kind of discovery. It takes time, patience, mercy and forgiveness of self, and a willingness to look into all of the heart including the dark and untouched corners (you know, where all those cobwebs are). It is, however, a beautiful journey.
Through all of my breathworks and many other self-discovery and healing experiences, one thing remains true – See the truth within you, in your heart, and let it shine through honey!
Infinite Love and Gratitude